I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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