Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
