im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
