You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
