You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
