but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Damn victory sex feels great
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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