Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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