I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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