I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
