If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
