I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
