she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
