Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You may now shotgun with the bride
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
