i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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