Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
