Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize