I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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