they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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