We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize