so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
