I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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