so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
