The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
