So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The best revenge is premature balding
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
