she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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