he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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