Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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