i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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