My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
