I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize