yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
