She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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