And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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