Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize