So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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