I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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