my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize