i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
