Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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