we have pet lesbian snakes
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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