Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
