ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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