What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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