Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
