No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
