we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize