i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
no. you can't hotbox the world.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
