we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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