last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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