how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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