And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
