there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
