are you still at the devil's house?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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