I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Randomize
