We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize