Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
