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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
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