well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
