plz talk dirty to me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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