i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
