We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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