I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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