just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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