I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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