I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
