well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
